Greetings!
I need to thank the seniors for voting me in to speak today. I really am honored to do it. I’m not so sure I felt that way six week ago when I found out, but today I can tell you that it really is a privilege. Until Mr. Philip’s kind introduction, I wasn’t sure I’d actually won the popular vote; I thought it was the Super Delegates who put me over the top. It’s hard for me to believe that the day is really here and that you’re already graduating…and just when I was so close to actually telling the Reeds apart! It really is a privilege to stand here on your big day, so thank you guys.
****************************
What if you knew that when you woke up tomorrow you would not remember one single thing about all the time you spent in school? Think about it. What would you miss the most? Would it be the lesson on the quadratic equation, the time you memorized the 50 state capitals, or the magic of the subjunctive? I doubt it.
Nobel Laureate, survivor of several Nazi concentration camps and author of the book, Night, Elie Wiesel, may have said it best, "If we stop remembering, we stop being."
Some of you remember starting your journey in Brunswick’s Pre K, but back when I was small, pre K was called home and it wasn’t until “K” that we got our first taste of the structured world, the world of conformity. It was the plunge into Kindergarten, with new faces and new rules, the plunge into the world of Mrs. Kelly that was my introduction to organized education. Mrs. Kelly was Scottish. She had married an Irishman about 100 years before I had her, but she was Scottish. Maybe that thick brogue is why I had a tough time understanding some of her rules.
Now I admit most of my memories of kindergarten are hazy; the truth is, I have only two clear recollections of that year at all: one, was the fact that Roland wet his pants every single day, without fail, at his desk, in the sandbox or on the slide; and two, was of marching round the room like little soldiers. Now I would probably not remember number two, if it hadn’t been for my poor judgment one day, when I decided that rather than marching, I was going to goose-step and kick Molly McQuaid in the rear-end. Not one of my finer moments. But to prove a point, that almost 35 years later, the only memory of my interaction with Mrs. Kelly followed that particular march. “Master Withstandley, do you think I was not to notice that you have kicked Miss McQuaid in the backside?” My shame at what I had done was only dwarfed by my shock and dismay at being busted. She made me stand in a trash can (yes that actually was a punishment, because – “if you were going to behave in a trashy way, there was a place for you”) and, of course, my, “parents would be contacted at day’s end.”
Now, you might ask yourself, what in the world does Roland’s bladder problem or my kicking Molly McQuaid’s pants have to do with a commencement? And the answer is, maybe nothing, but they have to do with memory; they have to do with what I took away from my time in Mrs. Kelly’s world.
Each of you has your own special memories from your earliest school days and the beginning of your journey, and many of you have been together since those pre-K or Kindergarten days. You have been building a portfolio of these moments and filling the scrapbook of your mind with reflections of each other for a long, long time. Whenever you entered the class, whether 14 years ago or junior year, you have become part of the collective and now are inextricably connected to each other. A collective that might remember Mrs. Ackley making sure you knew your colors, Mrs. Lindberg constantly reminding you about this thing called a character (No, she wasn’t referring to you, Blackiston) or Mr. Ostrye making sure if you ever had your legs knocked out from under you that you could get around on your hands.
Your scrapbook might include Field days, or Lower School Wrestling Tournaments, knee hockey, Colonial Day or trips to Greenkill or Mystic, or maybe a sweaty dance floor at the Brown and White.
And now, after being together, you’re preparing to go your own separate ways, leaving familiar places, familiar faces, the sure guidance of your parents and teachers as you head for uncharted waters.
Today is a rite of passage. Today your individual journey continues. And before any big trip, you need to pack. So as you do, and think of how to pack, remember two things that might keep you on track while you do: simplicity and balance.
Simplicity. You have often heard it said, “Keep it simple,” or, “It’s the simple things in life,” and there is great truth in those sayings. How many times have you heard someone (likely, Mr. Philip) say, “We don’t have too many rules here at Brunswick, the ones we have are simple…”? This world we live in is an ever-complicating whirlwind that when left unchecked, would have you believe that the frantic and the frenetic are the stuff dreams are made of. This is simply not true. We are reminded of the importance of simplicity during our highest highs and our lowest lows. We seem to have great clarity about what and who is important in those moments.
Your parents will back me up on this: The most important thing to them is your health and happiness. It was true the day they met you and it will always be that way. Although time has passed and a world hell-bent on materialism has tried to have its way with us all, their first wishes for you were not to be an Olympic athlete – in their eyes you were already a gold medalist; they were not for you to have perfect SATs – perfect SATs meant nothing compared to how perfect you were in their sight; and they were not necessarily for you to run a hedge-fund, but to have fun in the hedges. They knew it was simple
Staying balanced too is something we’ve been working on for a long time here. There is no way you were going to make that hip-check for VanBelle or that lunging point for Mr. Stephens without balance, and the idea of rowing an eight without balance is unthinkable. We have tried to encourage you to balance your lives with work and play and service and hopefully, some rest too. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “People with great gifts are easy to find, but symmetrical and balanced ones never.” Strive to lead a balanced life in an unbalanced world.
So as you pack (keeping it simple and keeping it balanced) there are a few things I hope you’ll remember to bring:
Now, ahead of this short list let me make clear that there is a difference between luggage and baggage. Luggage is what you choose to bring, while baggage is what someone else packed for you. Grab as much of the baggage as you can and get rid of it, you won’t need it where you’re going and it will only weigh you down.
So, on to the list…
Self confidence – if you have not been able to find enough, just take one last, quick look around. You should have it in abundance. Considering that you have made it through this school with the incredible record you have earned for yourself, it is clear to me that self confidence should be in your arsenal. If you packed any arrogance, though, I would encourage you to leave that behind. Although some may confuse self confidence for arrogance, I assure you, they are fathoms apart. Humility is the key when making this distinction. Make sure you save room for humility and keep it within arm’s reach.
Bring courage. We have talked your ears off about it here, but if we have, there must be some reason. It is not some lofty ideal or filler for banners and patches…this is something real and, too often, in short supply in our world. It is not only tested on lacrosse fields or on wrestling mats – its truest tests have far greater consequences than Ws and Ls. On the rest of your journey, you may be called upon to use your courage in unimaginable ways.
Honor, also, gets a lot of attention at Brunswick. We talk about it and yet it, too, remains somewhat elusive and hard to define. I would say that it is a lot easier to recognize its absence than its presence. It is one of the few things we can possess that takes a lifetime to maintain and only an instant to lose. In your most trying hour it may be one of the few comforts you have. I urge you not to trade it for anything.
Grit and determination. Bring them for the long haul. Not every problem has a quick fix, and although they have made pills that can cure everything from insomnia to impotence and from reflux to restless leg syndrome, they still haven’t come up with one that is a substitute for good, old-fashioned hard work. Some days on the journey will be a grind.
Bring a sense of humor. For God’s sake, bring one. You will need it because if you can’t laugh you miss out on one of the greatest gifts in life. Some stuff is truly funny. Looking back, seeing myself at age 5, standing in a trash can is funny. Seeing Piscina wearing real shoes and Michael Allwin clean shaven today… is funny. Imagining Alex Hare with split ends or thinking that Russell Zimmerman, with his gift for anatomical drawing, might one day be a police sketch artist…is funny! Make sure you can laugh, and more importantly, make sure you can laugh at yourself.
Hope. Pack a lot of hope. You may not fully realize your potential right now, but it would not be too much of a stretch to say that on your journey you might be carrying the hopes and dreams of millions. In a world filled with challenges beyond count, because of what you have gained here, you are being held to a higher standard. You are the living progression of an ancestral dream and potentially the voice for the world’s silent majority.
Finally, don’t forget to bring along those memories. Bubble-wrap them, fellahs! The memory of Brunswick will be different for you than for those who will follow. Remember the way you felt here. If you were to close your eyes and envision the space that used to be Maher Avenue’s Burke Gym, you will find that it still exists there in your mind and it is filled with the sounds of the laughter of the guy from Facebook, it will be filled with the energy of IMBL and BUST and it will forever resound with the words of wisdom found in Two Ways to Machu Picchu.
As you sit there for the last time as a senior class, notice that the guy next to you, whether your best friend or not, shares connections with you, experiences and memories that will become increasingly valuable over time. We all share a certain bond with those who are with us in our formative years. Who else can understand the shorthand of our lives?
If you were going to lose your memories, what would you miss the most? Don’t ever forget your Roland, your Molly McQuaid or your Mrs. Kelly. Our memories are the fragments that make us whole.
So today, as you head off on the rest of your journey, I hope that you’ll remember to bring along a few of those key items; I wish you health, happiness and a long, fulfilling life. But above all, I hope that you’ll take the memory of Brunswick and that it will be a beacon on a distant shore, a reminder of the important lessons you have learned and the friends who shared them with you. May the common bond be that you are all guided by that light with its simple messages of Courage, Honor and Truth, and when you are weary and in need or just want to visit, may that light be a sure and constant point to help you chart a course for home…
We’ll be here waiting. Good luck and Godspeed.
Thank you very much.